Wednesday, Apr. 20, 2005 - 15:25

Hello gentle Reader.

Had some mighty odd dreams last night/this morning; one featured my Mother. I dreamt that I walked into my Father and StepMother’s home and found my Mother sitting on the sofa with them. I stiffened immediately and felt the hackles rise, wondering ’What the Hell is she doing here?’

I think I must have said as much, for my Father replied: “Your Mum just wanted to see you… she contacted us… she’s been worried about you. We told her everything, Jay; that you had been in hospital, that you even died… and about what Simon did to you when you were out of it.”

My Mother burst into tears, and waved for me to sit by her side on the sofa. Reluctantly, I did so, out of a sense of politeness. She threw her arms around me and wept openly. “I’m so sorry… I am so so sorry…. I didn’t believe you….”

“Well, not all of us tell lies like you do,” I replied frostily. I couldn’t stand having her touch me – it seemed so hypocritical, so I rose to my feet, looking to my Father and StepMother. “Can’t you see what she’s doing? These tears aren’t real! This is just another one of her games… a ploy… she’s tricking you! She’s playing on your kindness and sympathy…. But she’ll hurt us again, she will, you’ll see…”

The dream shifted and twisted, as dreams often tend to do. I found myself in some enormous shopping centre… it was incredibly vast and there were people everywhere.

I seemed lost and disorientated, and then some guy came up to me and said: “Simon’s here. He’s looking for you…”

Curiously, I didn’t panic. I just stood there and nodded, looking around at the surging sea of faces, looking for his face.

“That’s ok,” I replied. “I can wait.”

… At which point, I woke up.

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